Deep Dive: Negotiation Styles

Mark Putnam

Good afternoon, Olivia. Well, I suppose today’s episode is, in some ways, a return to basics—but through a very modern lens: negotiation. We’ve touched around the edges of this topic before, but today we’re going to make it front and center.

Olivia Carter

Yeah, and what a lens it is. I feel like negotiation’s one of those words everybody thinks they get—until you’re actually across the table, knees bouncing, voice wobbling, and the only thing you’re really negotiating is with your own anxiety. So, Mark, when we say negotiation, are we talking about hardball tactics, or is it something deeper?

Mark Putnam

It's much deeper. And you know, that's exactly what Chester Karrass and Chris Voss both get at, albeit from different worlds. Karrass approaches negotiation as a structured, process-driven discipline—you prepare, you watch the clock, you treat it almost like science. Voss, on the other hand, is all emotion and presence—he brings this sense that negotiation is profoundly human, all about reading the other person, empathy, silence. Neither is just about winning, and the truth is, you rarely win in negotiation by dominance. You win by understanding.

Olivia Carter

It’s funny, because Voss was, what, an FBI hostage negotiator? The guy’s literally talking people down from a ledge. His focus on tone and silence… it’s almost the opposite of that classic, boardroom image of “the deal.”

Mark Putnam

Absolutely. When I look back at my boardroom experiences, the most successful negotiations were never about proving I’d done the most homework or having the oldest spreadsheet. It was preparation—Karrass’s style—but it was also presence. I remember moments where saying less, or changing my tone, accomplished more than ten slide decks ever could. Sometimes, listening or just a pause shifted the whole dynamic. These frameworks, logic and emotion, are not at odds; they’re partners.

Olivia Carter

So, this isn’t just about tactics; it’s about being human. Preparation gives you confidence, but you have to sense what the room needs. If you try to stick too close to the manual, the real conversation just passes right by you.

Mark Putnam

Exactly. The blend is where the power happens. We’ll come back to that in a bit, especially with silence, but I think it's important to see negotiation as both a framework and as a performance of empathy and curiosity.

Olivia Carter

You know, Mark, I think about all the times we’ve talked about leadership on the show—hiring, vendor contracts, leading during crises. Negotiation just keeps popping up, but not everyone sees it as a core leadership skill. Should it be?

Mark Putnam

It absolutely should. It’s foundational. In technology and higher ed especially, negotiation is rarely just a moment; it’s every day. You’re in budget reviews—maybe with someone whose spreadsheet doesn’t line up with your priorities. Or you’re managing a vendor who’s restructuring their pricing again. And cross-campus partnerships, honestly, those are sometimes the trickiest negotiations of all. None of these is just about the numbers. They’re about relationships, balancing what’s possible with what’s needed, and nudging people toward trust. Every one of these moments is a negotiation arena.

Olivia Carter

That reminds me of the press days at TechCrunch, you know, wrangling interviews with these infamously elusive founders—half of them would rather send me an NDA than answer a question. I learned fast: sometimes you lead with logic—“This will help your product launch”—but other times you have to listen, even just let a silence stretch until they open up. One time, I think I must’ve just sat there not saying a word for almost an entire minute. Most awkward minute of my life, but it worked.

Mark Putnam

You hit on something important—listening as leverage, not weakness. Voss talks a lot about this. In fact, if you’re doing most of the talking, odds are you’re losing ground. The trick is that negotiation for leaders is not about closing the deal in one move; it’s about building a climate where deals can keep happening. Like we mentioned in the episode on the “Credibility Cycle”—you’re not just negotiating resources, but trust, every day.

Olivia Carter

Yeah, and even outside those big tables, it’s constant. It’s how you change a meeting agenda, how you convince your CIO to try something new, even if their first instinct is resistance.

Mark Putnam

That’s right. Every calendar invite, every hallway conversation—you’re practicing negotiation, whether you realize it or not. And the best leaders not only see that, but they also get curious about their own patterns.

Olivia Carter

So, let’s talk about those patterns—your style in the room. Chris Voss breaks it down into three types: Analyst, Accommodator, and Assertive. And it sounds so simple. But real life? Not so much.

Mark Putnam

I’ve found those categories quite useful. The Analyst—methodical, data-driven, they’re slow to speak, but when they talk, it’s with precision. The Accommodator is all about connection, warmth, making sure everyone’s happy. And the Assertive, well, that’s the person who wants results—yesterday if possible. Each one brings something valuable, but there’s always a catch: the Analyst might overthink and slow things down, the Accommodator can concede too much just to “keep the peace,” and the Assertive may steamroll ahead without realizing they’ve left everyone behind.

Olivia Carter

And, of course, most of us want to claim we’re balanced, but that self-assessment we talked about in the EDUCAUSE workshop—it really trips people up. I remember folks being kind of surprised, almost defensive, when their natural style was clear. Like, “I’m an Analyst? But I thought I was people-minded!” It’s a bit of a revelation when you see how those instincts play out.

Mark Putnam

It is. And the goal isn’t labeling, but awareness. One participant shared that after doing the assessment, she realized she always filled silences because she couldn’t stand discomfort—which led her to give up more than she intended. Just that realization changed her approach the next time she was at the table.

Olivia Carter

I mean, I’m a classic Assertive. I want to get to the heart of things fast, but I have to keep reminding myself that not everyone processes information that way. So the insight is not “pick the best style”—it’s knowing your reflexes. And then learning how to notice what other folks are doing, too.

Mark Putnam

Exactly. Because organizational health depends on the Analyst’s rigor, the Accommodator’s relationships, and the Assertive’s drive. Getting all three in sync is the art of negotiation—and the basis for trust.

Olivia Carter

So Mark, what happens when things aren't in sync?

Mark Putnam

What strikes me is how quickly a negotiation can get off track when people don’t recognize each other’s style. I remember a contract negotiation—it started out tense, and just kept veering further off the rails. I was talking to someone who was direct, rapid-fire, very Assertive. But our lead negotiator took a methodical Analyst approach—lots of numbers, long pauses. Instead of building agreement, they frustrated each other. It wasn’t until we switched gears—affirmed the Assertive’s focus, then followed up with a clear data summary—that we started making progress again. Just noticing that difference in pacing and communication saved the deal.

Olivia Carter

So you’ve gotta read for cues beyond the words. An Assertive will cut in with, “Let’s move on” or “Let’s be clear.” Analysts might pause, ask for supporting data, or follow a stepwise process—sometimes so slow people wonder if they’re even still there. Accommodators just want everyone to feel okay, tossing in things like, “Can we just get this done smoothly?”

Mark Putnam

Exactly. And your methods have to adapt. You keep things crisp and outcome-focused with Assertives, back up and offer room to process with Analysts, and ensure you’re building rapport—and not steamrolling—Accommodators. Honestly, most earn-out happens before you get to the “deal” itself. Adjusting in real time means losing rigidity, which is uncomfortable for most people, especially if we think negotiation is only about tactics.

Olivia Carter

It’s like learning a new language each time. I, uh, still have to remind myself not to get impatient when someone takes that awkwardly long pause—I always think they’re stalling. But sometimes, they’re just doing what they need to make a good decision.

Mark Putnam

That’s the emotional part. Logic and facts matter, but if you fight someone’s basic style, you’ll lose trust and rarely get the outcome you need. Adaptation is the only way the process really works in the wild.

Olivia Carter

Let’s dig into silence for a minute—maybe the weirdest, and also the most powerful, negotiation tool I’ve ever tried. Early in my career, I hated it. I thought if I wasn’t talking, I was losing. But at some point, with a vendor, I just… ran out of words—awkward pause, total blank. You could almost see him start to squirm. And instead of rescuing him, I let it play out. He filled the silence, started wrapping in all sorts of things I hadn’t even asked about. I realized: Oh, this is what Voss meant.

Mark Putnam

It’s one of the simplest, yet most misunderstood forms of leverage. Assertives find silence uncomfortable, maybe even threatening, so a well-placed pause after a question can prompt them to reveal more just to fill the air. Accommodators interpret silence as disharmony, so you have to keep pauses controlled—too long and they’ll cave, too short and there’s no space for reflection. Analysts, though—they thrive in silence. They think it’s respect, space to process. But you have to tell them, sometimes, that you’re waiting on their thoughts, or they’ll never re-enter the conversation.

Olivia Carter

It’s wild how much can surface when you let a beat hang. I had to train myself to breathe, literally count to five in my head. If I jump in too fast, I usually derail my own leverage. If I can just hang in there… something shifts. And if you’re an Analyst—or working with one—just signaling “I’m thinking” keeps it from going totally radio silent.

Mark Putnam

In some ways, if there’s a final word from this episode, it’s that silence is not the absence of negotiation. It’s the presence of possibility. Style awareness and using these...pauses—those are what turn negotiation from a chess match into a skillful conversation.

Olivia Carter

Couldn’t say it better myself. So, if you’re tuning in, challenge yourself this week—pause a little longer, listen more than you speak, try to spot which style’s in the room, maybe even your own. It’s awkward at first, but eye-opening.

Mark Putnam

Agreed, Liv. We’ll be back soon to dig into the next layer of leadership and technology—so keep experimenting, keep learning.

Olivia Carter

Mark, always a pleasure. Thanks for another great conversation.

Mark Putnam

Thank you, Olivia. Goodbye, everyone—see you next episode.

Olivia Carter

Bye, all—take care and keep negotiating, with yourself and others.